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2018 Bulwer Lytton Fiction Contest Winners Announced
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Gene Wirchenko
2018-09-03 05:20:53 UTC
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Hello:

The winners of the 2018 Bulwer Lytton Fiction Contest have been
announced and can be read at https://www.bulwer-lytton.com/

Sadly, once again, I did not win. One of my entries did come
from an exchange involving Dorothy Heydt. Personally, I thought it
was pretty good/bad, but the judges did not agree. It was:

"I am going to die soon anyway and might as well enjoy my going",
declaimed the wealthy and fading diabetic as she lifted the sweet
spoonful of ginger-lemon pudding to her mouth while the heir apparent
to her estate wondered sourly about the questions he would be facing
in probate court.

Maybe next year.

Sincerely,

Gene Wirchenko
Dan Swartzendruber
2018-09-03 15:19:43 UTC
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In article <***@4ax.com>, ***@telus.net
says...
Post by Gene Wirchenko
The winners of the 2018 Bulwer Lytton Fiction Contest have been
announced and can be read at https://www.bulwer-lytton.com/
Sadly, once again, I did not win. One of my entries did come
from an exchange involving Dorothy Heydt. Personally, I thought it
"I am going to die soon anyway and might as well enjoy my going",
declaimed the wealthy and fading diabetic as she lifted the sweet
spoonful of ginger-lemon pudding to her mouth while the heir apparent
to her estate wondered sourly about the questions he would be facing
in probate court.
Maybe next year.
Nice!
Gene Wirchenko
2018-09-03 22:23:12 UTC
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On Mon, 3 Sep 2018 11:19:43 -0400, Dan Swartzendruber
Post by Dan Swartzendruber
says...
Post by Gene Wirchenko
The winners of the 2018 Bulwer Lytton Fiction Contest have been
announced and can be read at https://www.bulwer-lytton.com/
Sadly, once again, I did not win. One of my entries did come
from an exchange involving Dorothy Heydt. Personally, I thought it
"I am going to die soon anyway and might as well enjoy my going",
declaimed the wealthy and fading diabetic as she lifted the sweet
spoonful of ginger-lemon pudding to her mouth while the heir apparent
to her estate wondered sourly about the questions he would be facing
in probate court.
Maybe next year.
Nice!
Thank you. I have entered since 2016. In 2016, I had 12
entries; in 2017, 55; and this year, seven. I have noticed some
writer have had more than one entry selected in a year. Not me yet.

Sincerely,

Gene Wirchenko
Dorothy J Heydt
2018-09-03 15:34:32 UTC
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Post by Gene Wirchenko
The winners of the 2018 Bulwer Lytton Fiction Contest have been
announced and can be read at https://www.bulwer-lytton.com/
Sadly, once again, I did not win. One of my entries did come
from an exchange involving Dorothy Heydt. Personally, I thought it
"I am going to die soon anyway and might as well enjoy my going",
declaimed the wealthy and fading diabetic as she lifted the sweet
spoonful of ginger-lemon pudding to her mouth while the heir apparent
to her estate wondered sourly about the questions he would be facing
in probate court.
Heh.

Possibly they thought you'd lifted the idea from the film
_Cocolat_, in which Judi Dench's diabetic character has a
magnificent birthday party dinner and is found dead in the
morning with a smile on her face? (But then why would they care
where you lifted the idea, so long as the prose was bad enough?)

Or perhaps they thought it wasn't verbose enough. A description
of all the other goodies on her table, awaiting the touch of her
spoon (or fork), might have tipped the balance. But that
would've been even *more* like _Cocolat_.

Anyway, thanks for the thought, and better luck next time.
--
Dorothy J. Heydt
Vallejo, California
djheydt at gmail dot com
www.kithrup.com/~djheydt/
Robert Carnegie
2018-09-03 22:32:03 UTC
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Post by Gene Wirchenko
The winners of the 2018 Bulwer Lytton Fiction Contest have been
announced and can be read at https://www.bulwer-lytton.com/
Sadly, once again, I did not win. One of my entries did come
from an exchange involving Dorothy Heydt. Personally, I thought it
"I am going to die soon anyway and might as well enjoy my going",
declaimed the wealthy and fading diabetic as she lifted the sweet
spoonful of ginger-lemon pudding to her mouth while the heir apparent
to her estate wondered sourly about the questions he would be facing
in probate court.
Maybe next year.
Sincerely,
Gene Wirchenko
"the worst time machine risk of all -- sticking your
head out of the window."

I suppose that's how you get an old head on young
shoulders. Without rather unpleasant surgery.
Though that might be still preferable.
Jerry Brown
2018-09-04 16:39:59 UTC
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Post by Gene Wirchenko
The winners of the 2018 Bulwer Lytton Fiction Contest have been
announced and can be read at https://www.bulwer-lytton.com/
Sadly, once again, I did not win. One of my entries did come
from an exchange involving Dorothy Heydt. Personally, I thought it
"I am going to die soon anyway and might as well enjoy my going",
declaimed the wealthy and fading diabetic as she lifted the sweet
spoonful of ginger-lemon pudding to her mouth while the heir apparent
to her estate wondered sourly about the questions he would be facing
in probate court.
Maybe next year.
Sincerely,
Gene Wirchenko
I had a browse through the site and couldn't find one I remember
really liking. It was in the last couple of years, a paragraph
describing the actions of some officer in a Star Fleet type
organisation, but every time it mentioned said organisation it listed
its extremely long name in full.
--
Jerry Brown

A cat may look at a king
(but probably won't bother)
Gene Wirchenko
2018-09-05 04:47:25 UTC
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On Tue, 04 Sep 2018 17:39:59 +0100, Jerry Brown
<***@jwbrown.co.uk.invalid> wrote:

[snip]
Post by Jerry Brown
I had a browse through the site and couldn't find one I remember
really liking. It was in the last couple of years, a paragraph
describing the actions of some officer in a Star Fleet type
organisation, but every time it mentioned said organisation it listed
its extremely long name in full.
One of my entries this year was along that line:

The petty officer reassured the new crew member, "Young man, this
is not one of those science fiction series where there is one critical
thingie that is vulnerable to getting damaged every episode; the TSS
Bifurcation has both an upper warp generator and a lower warp
generator, or would if we had up or down out here."

Sincerely,

Gene Wirchenko
Jerry Brown
2018-09-05 16:43:30 UTC
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Post by Gene Wirchenko
On Tue, 04 Sep 2018 17:39:59 +0100, Jerry Brown
[snip]
Post by Jerry Brown
I had a browse through the site and couldn't find one I remember
really liking. It was in the last couple of years, a paragraph
describing the actions of some officer in a Star Fleet type
organisation, but every time it mentioned said organisation it listed
its extremely long name in full.
The petty officer reassured the new crew member, "Young man, this
is not one of those science fiction series where there is one critical
thingie that is vulnerable to getting damaged every episode; the TSS
Bifurcation has both an upper warp generator and a lower warp
generator, or would if we had up or down out here."
Not that one, but thanks.

It was along the lines of "Captain ${NAME} of the
${EXTREMELY_LONG_MILITARY_FORCE_NAME} arrived at the headquarters of
${EXTREMELY_LONG_MILITARY_FORCE_NAME}..." and so on.

I guess it was taking the piss out of authors trying to bump up the
page count and hence fee.
--
Jerry Brown

A cat may look at a king
(but probably won't bother)
Jerry Brown
2018-09-06 19:30:54 UTC
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On Wed, 05 Sep 2018 17:43:30 +0100, Jerry Brown
Post by Jerry Brown
Post by Gene Wirchenko
On Tue, 04 Sep 2018 17:39:59 +0100, Jerry Brown
[snip]
Post by Jerry Brown
I had a browse through the site and couldn't find one I remember
really liking. It was in the last couple of years, a paragraph
describing the actions of some officer in a Star Fleet type
organisation, but every time it mentioned said organisation it listed
its extremely long name in full.
The petty officer reassured the new crew member, "Young man, this
is not one of those science fiction series where there is one critical
thingie that is vulnerable to getting damaged every episode; the TSS
Bifurcation has both an upper warp generator and a lower warp
generator, or would if we had up or down out here."
Not that one, but thanks.
It was along the lines of "Captain ${NAME} of the
${EXTREMELY_LONG_MILITARY_FORCE_NAME} arrived at the headquarters of
${EXTREMELY_LONG_MILITARY_FORCE_NAME}..." and so on.
I guess it was taking the piss out of authors trying to bump up the
page count and hence fee.
Found it, way back in the 2008 competition. Somebody must have posted
a more recent link to it and I didn't notice the year. Somehow it
mutated in my mind, adding the expansaion of USAOP each time it was
mentioned:

"Timothy Hanson, Commander of the 43rd Space Regiment in the 52nd
Battalion on board the USAOPAC (United Space Alliance Of Planets
Attack Carrier) and second in command to Admiral L. R. Morris of the
USAOP Space Command, awoke early for breakfast."
— Joe Schulman,
Cartersville, GA
--
Jerry Brown

A cat may look at a king
(but probably won't bother)
Gene Wirchenko
2018-09-07 01:21:31 UTC
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On Wed, 05 Sep 2018 17:43:30 +0100, Jerry Brown
Post by Jerry Brown
Post by Gene Wirchenko
On Tue, 04 Sep 2018 17:39:59 +0100, Jerry Brown
[snip]
Post by Jerry Brown
I had a browse through the site and couldn't find one I remember
really liking. It was in the last couple of years, a paragraph
describing the actions of some officer in a Star Fleet type
organisation, but every time it mentioned said organisation it listed
its extremely long name in full.
The petty officer reassured the new crew member, "Young man, this
is not one of those science fiction series where there is one critical
thingie that is vulnerable to getting damaged every episode; the TSS
Bifurcation has both an upper warp generator and a lower warp
generator, or would if we had up or down out here."
Not that one, but thanks.
No, that was one of mine.
Post by Jerry Brown
It was along the lines of "Captain ${NAME} of the
${EXTREMELY_LONG_MILITARY_FORCE_NAME} arrived at the headquarters of
${EXTREMELY_LONG_MILITARY_FORCE_NAME}..." and so on.
I guess it was taking the piss out of authors trying to bump up the
page count and hence fee.
And I was taking the piss out of something failing every episode.
Mad Magazine once did a spoof of Trivial Pursuit trivia questions. One
was something like, "In which episode did Scotty do emergency repairs
to the warp engines and save the day?" The "answer" was "All of
them".

Sincerely,

Gene Wirchenko
Joe Pfeiffer
2018-09-07 19:28:09 UTC
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Post by Gene Wirchenko
The winners of the 2018 Bulwer Lytton Fiction Contest have been
announced and can be read at https://www.bulwer-lytton.com/
Sadly, once again, I did not win. One of my entries did come
from an exchange involving Dorothy Heydt. Personally, I thought it
"I am going to die soon anyway and might as well enjoy my going",
declaimed the wealthy and fading diabetic as she lifted the sweet
spoonful of ginger-lemon pudding to her mouth while the heir apparent
to her estate wondered sourly about the questions he would be facing
in probate court.
Maybe next year.
Apparently you can't write badly, even when you try. Take it as a
compliment!
Gene Wirchenko
2018-09-08 05:19:44 UTC
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On Fri, 07 Sep 2018 13:28:09 -0600, Joe Pfeiffer
Post by Joe Pfeiffer
Post by Gene Wirchenko
The winners of the 2018 Bulwer Lytton Fiction Contest have been
announced and can be read at https://www.bulwer-lytton.com/
Sadly, once again, I did not win. One of my entries did come
from an exchange involving Dorothy Heydt. Personally, I thought it
"I am going to die soon anyway and might as well enjoy my going",
declaimed the wealthy and fading diabetic as she lifted the sweet
spoonful of ginger-lemon pudding to her mouth while the heir apparent
to her estate wondered sourly about the questions he would be facing
in probate court.
Maybe next year.
Apparently you can't write badly, even when you try. Take it as a
compliment!
But I have not had my fifteen minutes yet!

Sincerely,

Gene Wirchenko

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